Parenting advice doesn't have to just come from a parenting guru, another mother, or an educational institute. Sometimes, it's in places no one has ever thought to look. Like in the history books!
I stumbled upon this article the other day that lists Gandhi's top 10 fundamentals for changing the world. This is some pretty big stuff. And it also led to my aha! moment.
As Carl Jung said, "If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves."
Children are our future. There's no doubt there. But if there's any hope of making the world a better place, we've got to start with ourselves first. So I thought I'd share Gandhi's key principles with you. They're timeless and I think that they will make anyone a better parent.
My favorite ones are 5 and 9 (though they're all awesome).
5. Take care of this moment.
Remaining present is a big challenge for tons of parents and even me. When we're so worried about our children's futures, sometimes we forget to cherish the now. I love spending time with my girls,even if it's something as simple as going for a walk. What matters is that we try and stay in the present and enjoy each other's company.
9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
Be who you are. Don't try to be someone you're not because your kids will pick up on it. As the old saying goes, practice what you preach. Even if it seems tough, it's important to be as honest as you possibly can with your kids so that they feel they can always trust you and go to you for help.
Have a read through the article below and let me know what you think of these 10 principles. Which ones are your favorites and why? I can't wait to read your comments.
Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World
By Henrik Edberg from PositivityBlog.com
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.”
“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”
Mahatma Gandhi needs no long introduction. Everyone knows about the man who lead the Indian people to independence from British rule in 1947.
So let’s just move on to some of my favorite tips from Mahatma Gandhi.
1. Change yourself.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”
If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t normally have – or maybe even normally have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.
And the problem with changing your outer world without changing your innerself is that you will still be you when you reach that change you have striven for. You will still have your flaws, anger, negativity, self-sabotaging tendencies etc. intact.
And so in this new situation you will still not find what you hoped for since your mind is still seeping with that negative stuff. And if you get more without having some insight into and distance from your ego it may grow more powerful. Since your ego loves to divide things, to find enemies and to create separation it may start to try to create even more problems and conflicts in your life and world.
2. You are in control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
What you feel and how you react to something is always up to you. There may be a “normal” or a common way to react to different things. But that’s mostly just all it is.
You can choose your own thoughts, reactions and emotions to pretty much everything. You don’t have to freak out, overreact of even react in a negative way. Perhaps not every time or instantly. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction just goes off. Or an old thought habit kicks in.
And as you realize that no-one outside of yourself can actually control how you feel you can start to incorporate this thinking into your daily life and develop it as a thought habit. A habit that you can grow stronger and stronger over time. Doing this makes life a whole lot easier and more pleasurable.
3. Forgive and let it go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
Fighting evil with evil won’t help anyone. And as said in the previous tip, you always choose how to react to something. When you can incorporate such a thought habit more and more into your life then you can react in a way that is more useful to you and others.
You realize that forgiving and letting go of the past will do you and the people in your world a great service. And spending your time in some negative memory won’t help you after you have learned the lessons you can learn from that experience. You’ll probably just cause yourself more suffering and paralyze yourself from taking action in this present moment.
If you don’t forgive then you let the past and another person to control how you feel. By forgiving you release yourself from those bonds. And then you can focus totally on something else - for instance, the next point 
4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”
Without taking action very little will be done. However, taking action can be hard and difficult. There can be much inner resistance.
And so you may resort to preaching, as Gandhi says. Or reading and studying endlessly. And feeling like you are moving forward. But getting little or no practical results in real life.
So, to really get where you want to go and to really understand yourself and your world you need to practice. Books can mostly just bring you knowledge. You have to take action and translate that knowledge into results and understanding.
You can check out a few effective tips to overcome this problem in How to Take More Action: 9 Powerful Tips. Or you can move on to the next point for more on the best tip for taking more action that I have found so far.
5. Take care of this moment.
“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”
The best way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be accepting.
Why? Well, when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of your actions loses its power. And so it becomes easier to both take action and to keep your focus on this moment and perform better.
Have a look at 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment for tips on how quickly step into the now. And remember that reconnecting with and staying in the now is a mental habit – a sort of muscle – that you grow. Over time it becomes more powerful and makes it easier to slip into the present moment.
Gandhiji has always said what is good for the mankind. He was a super human and blessed this World with is greatness. We Indians are proud to have such person born on this soil.
Many thanks for such an article of immense importance.
My daughter in law died of brain cancer last week, the day after Thanksgiving. My son is left with three little girls to raise. I went to help him and a bad arugument broke out between us. Words from past mistakes were thrown up in my face some true some not true. I saw the hatered and hurt in his face toward me. I was thrown out of my son's house, on the day of her funeral. He called me a whore and a liar. I have been here fighting the past sitiuation and trying to keep some sense of self respect. My eyes were swollen shut from crying, and then I got on the computer and these words from came to me from Gandhi. I did not seek them out.
I knew alot of the wisdom he gave me today, because I have read so many books. I thought I was evolving and growing until it came time to be quiet and let go of EGO. When my son called me a whore and said horrible things to me, my EGO came out and I fought evil with evil. It is most difficult to remain humble when toxic words come my way. I am asking for any advise to help me to remain humble when toxic word come my way, to remember who I am, and to let go of EGO. I want to let go of this hurt and live in the moment. I am so ready to learn I will do what ever it takes. I know that the words from Gandhi that have arrived today are no acciedent.
Dear Patsy,
Your post really touched my heart. I think the first thing you can do is forgive yourself.
For whatever reason, my sister and I have been having a tough time. We keep hurting each other with our words. She has said some pretty hurtful things to me and I suffered a good 4 months over our falling out.
And then I decided to do whatever it takes to get myself in a happy, peaceful state. But first, I realized that in many ways, I should thank her.
Because these are the things I would never have learned, had we not had this experience:
Since everyone is only reflecting back our own thoughts...then what my sister said to me was something I must have been feeling about myself. So she did me a favor by pointing that out to me. Now, I can look at what I'm feeling...and challenge it. Transform the beliefs I have about myself.
Next, through my studies I was reminded that we really do create our own realities...so she was just "reading the script I had given her". So how could I be mad at her for playing the role I have assigned her and saying the words I have written for her?
You see, we are 100% responsible for everything that happens to us. We have created or attracted it all on some level.
I learned that the words my sister used, the things she said about me would not hurt so much if I didn't on some level think they were true.
This presented me with a wonderful opportunity to heal those thoughts about myself.
I hope this helps, Patsy. It's time to forgive yourself. Whatever you did or think you did in the past does not matter. Forgive yourself first, and then you can forgive your son.
Rhonda
http://www.kidsawakening.com
I've been looking all over for this!
Thanks.