5 Tips To EMPOWER Your Children10.0108The best thing about children is that they are born with a sense of personal power.  They come into this world already programmed with this amazing confidence and belief in themselves. It is a lesson they learn from others (mainly adults) that they have no power.  Most adults are not doing this on purpose, they are just not aware of the way their actions and words disempower children.

Say No To "Yes Men" Kids

For example, I know it's easier to to tell a kid to follow the rules because we said so or that there are rules to follow and that's just it - but do we ever stop and explain why the rules exist?  Do we ever tell them WHY we said so?  How can our kids learn the fine art of problem solving if we just tell them what to do - not why they are doing it or how we came to decide it is important to be done.  Are we turning them into little "yes men" robots that believe that their thoughts and ideas are not important?  Are we removing their problem solving abilities in an effort to get them to behave and "be good"?

I strongly believe that thoughts contribute in a big way to creating our world. So for me this topic is especially important because I want my childrens' thoughts to be powerful, positive ones that help them to create the life of their dreams.

I've already seen them brainwashed into thinking that the things they buy at the mall will make them important and that the nicer and prettier they are the more friends they will have and the more people will like them. So the last thing I want to do is disempower them further at home - our home is the place I want them to feel the most loved and supported exactly as they are.

So here are my 2 cents on the things I think we can do to empower our kids and maintain the amazing confidence that they were born with.

5 Ways To Empower Your Children

1. Make an effort only to correct your children when it is something major - don't nitpick and constantly correct them. They will begin to believe that they are not good enough and can't do anything right.
2. Give them the power to make their own decisions - about what they wear, eat, or what activities they want to take part in. This is especially hard for me because I like to control things and keep on my schedule. But the things my girls are the most proud of are the ones they choose and execute all by themselves. Rarely do they enjoy the things I make them do...
3. Stop using the word "NO." It is overused everywhere in our society - and the word "DON'T" is also negative and a confidence buster!  It is as simple as changing the way we phrase an answer... "Yes, icecream for dinner sounds awesome, the only issue is that our bodies need vitamins first!"
4. Be careful what you are imprinting on your kids. For example, saying things like "You are so ____" or using the phrase "You are just like your Dad" can be empowering or disempowering depending on the context you are using it in. If you are going to label your kids this way - make sure it is a good one! (i.e. the ways they are like their Dad are ways that you like - not similar in the things you don;t like about him!)
5. Pay attention to your kids. This seems like a no brainer so let me give you an example - DO you look into your child's eyes when they are talking to you - or are you just listening out of one ear while doing 10 other things?  This type of behavior sends a strong message to your child that what they have to say is not important and can be very disempowering to a child of any age.

It's All In The Details

At the end of the day life is in the details, especially when it comes to our kids.  They are brilliant and intuitive and pick up on every little nuance in our speech and in the way we look at them. They even find meaning in the simplest of our daily actions.

So much of what we do is out of habit, and all I am asking is that we pay attention to how we act towards our kids.  That we make sure we don't act strictly out of habit or do only what is easy at the cost of our children's empowerment and personal power.

Thanks for listening.

And as always, I'd love to hear your 2 cents too. Drop a comment and share your thoughts.

Thanks

Melissa