What if you could give your family the ability to make choices that provide:
- Complete clarity
- Perfect Solutions
- The Best Course of Action to follow
- The Avoidance of Mistakes
What would it mean if your family could make choices from the Greatest Awareness possible?
Christie Sheldon is an Intuitive Healer and Medium. She connects to the Archangelic realm to shift, change, and transform people’s lives. She has worked with over 10,000 Clients and demonstrates these talents on the Radio and in Seminars.
For a free audio download with more information about living from “Love or Above” and to watch Christie’s videos with a step by step guide to muscle testing - click here.
You, as a parent, friend or lover you only want the best for the people you care about, right? What I am about to talk about are important tools that help find the Truth in any situation, raise the Consciousness level of your Family and allow your family the choice to live from Love or Above...
Choices made from Greater Consciousness let you ride the wave of using the Invisible Forces of Higher Vibration to create easy manifesting. It’s a behind the scenes booster rocket you can use.
If you have a reality that is only oranges and apples, you’ll only make decisions from oranges and apples. If you raise the Consciousness of yourself and your family, you’ll get to live a life filled with Awesomeness and Abundance. You’ll get to see that life is also filled with pears and blueberries and maybe even a watermelon (and you’ll get to taste them too 
. Living from Greater Consciousness gives added value to your lifestyle because you now have the availability of more opportunity.
New Reality For Your Family
Imagine on a table in front of you seven puzzle pieces. That’s your Life, your Reality. It’s all you’ve got. Now, along comes Greater Consciousness and shows you how to have a bird’s eye view of the whole puzzle, not just your seven pieces. Now you can see all 120 pieces of the puzzle and know how to make them work for you.
You’ll have more choice, more awareness, more advantages. From the space of Greater Consciousness you can even change the picture of your puzzle, make a new puzzle or have the choice to pick from dozens of other puzzles!
When I raised my own Consciousness significantly, I really, really understood for the first time that a person can truly overhaul their whole life to recreate one that they really desire. Or, if you prefer, you could just change the irritating bits... But, whether your life needs a complete overhaul or just minor tweaking - if your current Consciousness stays exactly the same, you will only be able to pick choices from the limited box called your reality.
Higher Consciousness allows you to manifest things beyond the constructs of your old paradigm. How much more fun and fulfilling could your life be, and the life of your family if you were all equipped with tools like this?
What I would like to share with you is a new possibility -- your Family’s thriving and happy version of life. Providing your loved ones with solutions that resonate at the highest frequency possible is more important than you think. You don’t get a second shot at this lifetime, at raising your kids or experiencing incredible relationships with the people you love. To experience this you have to make the best choices, and conscious choices are easy to make if you have the right tools in your toolbox.
This talent can be taught.
How to Get Answers From a Truthful Place
I have taught hundreds of people how to get answers to their questions from a truthful place. If we eliminate falsehoods from our lives, then a family has a chance to be the best, most loving and connected family they can be. In truth, we all want greatness for our children and the people we love. We all want a family structure that grows and thrives. So, what if the way you are currently living really isn’t the best option in your family’s life? What if there was a better way?
The way to assist your Family is to bring in more Truth. Asking questions and getting answers is the first way to start. You can use Greater Consciousness to get better health and well-being, to bring more Love into a family and better relationships between parents and kids. Most people want a better life in some area. They really want truth and clarity.
In my Intuitive Practice, I have Parents come to me all of the time asking for the greatest Choices they can make for their family. I give them answers looking at it from a financial perspective and with ease and joy in mind. I also look at where they are losing a lot of time, money, and frustration by giving their child things that may not even be what the child requires for their best version of life.
What if you could ascertain the 3 most important things your child needs to grow and prosper? How much is that worth to your Family? Well, that is something you can get answers to by just asking the questions and collecting the data.
3 Steps to Start Raising the Consciousness of Your Family
Did you know Consciousness has a scale, a vibration that can be measured? Did you know that the vibration of Love, Gratitude and Appreciation have a measurable vibrational influence on the Family? What if you could change your vibe and then you could change your life?
As a Healer looking to help Clients radically upgrade their Consciousness, I ran across a book that helped me explain Vibration to Clients. It’s called Power vs. Force by David Hawkins. He talks about how you can use a tool called muscle testing to literally measure the vibe of things in your life. If the vibe is high and good for you, your muscles stay strong and if the vibe is weak and poor for you, your muscles go weak. Did you know that an Enlightened person with a light-filled higher vibration can lift the vibe of thousands of people on the planet?
There is a scale of 0-1000 one can use to measure emotions. Love is a vibe of 500. Enlightenment is a range of vibrational measurements of 700-1000. Shame is the lowest vibe of 20 on this scale of 1 to 1000. Fear measures 100 and anger’s vibe is 150. Peace is 600 and Joy is 540. High vibes raise people’s overall happiness and quality of life. On my Muscle testing Video, I explain how to measure this more thoroughly.
But in the meantime, I want to start talking about how to live from the “Love or Above” vibrations (Love, Joy, Peace). This is the Solution to raising both your own vibrations and the level of your Family’s Consciousness - and it can be started in a few simple steps:
Step 1: Bless your Daily Life.
I went through this lesson on a whim. I decided for the next few weeks, every opportunity I had I would bless people and life. I would do this in my head silently as a mantra.....I bless the people in the car in front of me. I bless this food I am partaking in. I bless the mail and I bless my family. I really did it full out and I have to admit, it was kind of fun. A blessing is a grateful appreciation for the good in your life. It’s high-vibrational active love energy.
I had a lot of interesting reactions…people would actually look at me when I did this and I was saying it silently so they had no idea, theoretically, I wasn't doing anything. I do believe thoughts are things, and they caught the loving intent behind it. I even had a random stranger give me a whole bouquet of flowers the day I was doing the most blessings. Lots of interesting possibilities!
Step 2: Raise the Vibe of the Company you Keep.
The main injury I see when children are brought to me for energy healing is that they are being fed energy in the form of negative and lower fields of energy. I clear these from their energy fields and the
kids become happier almost immediately - and so do the parents because their energies are usually entangled together.
Stress energy in a family can act like a virus and can be received and given out. Client’s report that after I clear their energy fields, using my High Vibrational Field, the fighting and stress in a family completely stops. If you have “Complainer” friends or family members that suck the life out of you….run for the nearest exit! It’ll instantly raise your vibe.
Love yourself enough to let them be and go be happy somewhere else. Remember, the underlying intent Complainers have is to make everyone as miserable as they are. I helped a Client, Lynn, change her whole situation, by getting a negative person out of it. She and her 2 kids now get along, just by getting rid of the negative friend in her life, a Complainer. The only one that can change a Complainer is the Complainer him/herself. Just be happy and if the Complainer likes it
, they will change to be more like you, or not. But, it’s not your job to change them.
Step 3: Change your Story.
What if the story you tell yourself everyday is the tale that keeps repeating? To raise the consciousness of a family the stories must shift. If the Mom’s story is she is so overwrought because she has to work and drive the kids and fold the laundry and work 40 hours on top of it, then that’s the story of the Mom’s life. She then never gets a shot at a different tale.
For instance, I had a Client, Joan, who came to me, burned out, unhealthy and unwell. I was guided to ask her, by my guides and Angels, if she was willing to change her whole life story. She said yes and then I asked, “What tale do you want your life to look like?”
She changed the whole story. It became like a miracle, she went home, changed her main life purpose, changed her line of work, and is now living what she calls her Dream Life.
What changed? The tale in her head changed. Then the reality of her Life shifted. Did it take a little work? Sure, but was it worth it to get a different story? Yes, definitely according to Joan. Joan realized she was living her Mother’s story not her own. When she got her own story, she felt like she had won the lottery. It was worth everything to her...
CLICK HERE FOR A FREE AUDIO DOWNLOAD ABOUT LIVING FROM "LOVE AND ABOVE" AND TO WATCH CHRISTIE'S VIDEO WITH A STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO MUSCLE TESTING
"In truth, we all want greatness for our children and the people we love."
Whose truth is that?
I do not want greatness for my children and the people I love. I want happiness for my children and the people I love. 'Greatness' is an egoic judgement and such judgements always keep us from Love, which is complete acceptance or non-judgement.
Has muscle testing not long since been discredited as a psychological trick in double blind clinical trials?
Hi Peter
When we say greatness, what we mean is living your life to the full potential and giving back to humanity. Yes of course we want happiness for our kids, but we also want them to have a sense of meaning. To feel there is something in life they are good at, and to feel the sense of accomplishment. This is what we mean by "greatness". Look, I have friends from college who are dead broke, addicted to weed and party every weekend while their illegitimate children and ex-girlfriends are begging for alimony. Yet, they're happy. And good for them. But I don't want this for my child. I would't want it for myself. Human beings are truly happy when their lives have meaning. And more often than not, this meaning comes from doing great things. Whether its being an excellent teacher, or starting a well run business, or conquering that mountain on the horizon. I want my child to have the skills he needs to be "great". Because the happiest people I know, are the ones doing "great things".
the material ive just read seems to extremly promising to be life changing.Thank you for this initiative.iam 33 and a father of two boys 4 and 3years .I also take care of two nieces of mine 2 and 6 years.first the child in me is yearning to break free of the chains he has been entangled in for 33 years.When ever i brought forth an idea that would change life at home my father always said "it cant be done", you cant win ,where will the money come from and a lot of other negative comments.finally i broke free from his snare in 2000 by moving away from home and between then and2005 i progressed by leaps and bounds in all areas of my life until i got a set back with my betterhalf sqeezing life out of our relationship.I lost all the property i had and all the money and inevitably went home-back to the negativities.Although i was able to get up again and restart my biz- iamheavily weighed down by the environment.Currently iam looking for a way to move away from home in order to provide better for my kids especially as far as their emotional well being is concerned.CASE IN POINT:My parents disapprove of my letting these kids have a free hand in handling a t.v mainly giving the excuse that they will spoil it.yet by doing so i have discovered that the six year old is a great dancer and has a very strong memory that she now sings four of michael jackson's songs complete with their dance moves except the moon walk which is still hard for her all this since his memorial sevice.She has never been to a music or dance class.The four year oldboy asks questions why this why that and at the end of the day ifind that i have learnt alot from just answering him.this might really be too long for a comment but ithink the content in your website is relevant to so many people.Thank you so much and iam looking forward to linking up with you more .God bless steven
Steven,
I am so glad to see that you enjoyed the post and thank you so much for telling us your story. The fact that you have recognized the harmfulness of negativity and are breaking that pattern and not passing it onto your children and nieces is truly inspiring! Add to that the way you have rebounded in your personal life and I can see what a great role model you are for those 4 kids. Take care and keep us updated on how things are going!
M
Yes there is far too much negativity in the world. It takes a certain strength of character to follow through with what you truly believe, especially when others don't support your efforts. But that's their failure not yours. Try something new and there is a good chance you will fail. Realize that failure is nothing more than a valuable learning experience, and the next time you try you will always do better.
Hello Steven!
Your comments are encouraging to many people. It takes an Aware person like yourself to recognize that some of our programming from individuals and our surroundings, can affect us. That's really the point of doing this. To help Conscious parent's make decisions that move children towards their highest aspirations. It seems like you are inspiring your children to move towards Joyful activities that allow their talents to manifest. Again, I think you are an amazing and courageous person for actively taking steps that move you and your children forward!!
Many, Many Blessings!
Christie Sheldon
Hi Peter!
I have to agree with Vishen. I did mean greatness in the definition of moving oneself to the Highest possible choice for themselves. What I hope to achieve in this blog is to assist the people who truly desire a great life to get it. The type of life where one looks back and says, "Wow, I really lived a fantastic life and I made a lot of excellent choices that manifested it!" My definition of a fantastic life may not be yours, but if one is raising an amazing Child and a Parent needs help in determining what choice works for the highest regard for the child....then use a tool that provides that. I want to give my Child all the help I can to set up their life for unlimited possibilities and with that, comes happiness. Many educated people use muscle testing, including Doctors. I know those that do to great success and satisfaction for their patients.
Excellent, excellent content! Christie Sheldon is truly an advanced spiritual teacher. She understands both the esoteric and the practical, and combines them in a very unique way in her work. Bravo Christie!
Christie,
Do you have any ideas on how I can help my children change their story? Since I have read your post I have been listening more carefully to the words that come out of my oldest daughter's mouth and I am saddened by the story about herself I hear forming there.
Thank you for your article and your response.
Anna
Thanks Vishen and Christie for your responses. I would be very surprised indeed if the friends Vishen describes are really happy and not just engaging in an endless pain / pleasure cycle. Pleasure is not happiness.
The happiest people I know are not those who are striving to accomplish 'great things' but those who accept and love themselves regardless of whether they achieve 'great' things or not. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. They are happy anyway. They do not judge circumstances. They love everyone and everything, unconditionally. They work because they love the work they are doing, not because they are trying to achieve 'greatness'. A lot may be achieved, but it is a side-effect.
Life is a means in itself, not a means to an end.
Christie, who are we to decide what it the 'highest possible choice' for somebody else? What do you mean by 'a great life' and how can you judge what is a great life for someone who is not you? That seems highly laced with personal judgement to me.
What is wrong with allowing people to simply love who they are and allow their life to flow naturally without having to strive for 'greatness'? Surely if someone has lived a life full of love and happiness, 'greatness' is irrelevant.
Fantastic life, excellent choices..... surely these are all personal judgements, unique to each individual.
I have no objection to you having a viewpoint that differs to mine. Variety makes life beautiful. But I do object to you stating something as being 'the truth' when it is simply your truth. That is a little presumptuous.
I did not ask who used muscle testing. I asked whether you were aware that many of its practitioners' claims have been largely discredited in neutral double blind clinical trials. Is it not true that it is simply a psychological trick similar to hypnotic suggestion?
Dear Peter,
You make a very Interesting point. My observation is that you have defined egoic-greatness and made judgments about what that greatness is . Greatness is not only about doing or accomplishing, greatness is about who we are, we are great. Unless, you don’t think your creation is made from greatness. I think we’re all greatness! Loving oneself must include being the grace of greatness that we are. Greatness can be a state of being. I truly appreciate your intelligence and desire to make clear meaning out of each word in my blog. Thank you for your caring.
As far as the double blind studies on muscle testing you are absolutely right, double blind studies have not been able to prove muscle testing as double blind studies have long been proven to be erroneous, inaccurate and squewed due to the nature of the researchers (anti-)consciousness affecting the results of each study.
Muscle testing is valid to the level of the tester and the observer’s consciousness. This in itself proves that muscle testing responds accurately to the level of consciousness of each tester and observer, proving the validity of muscle testing. You see, in the disproving studies they have different testers try to test a subject. What the Researchers fail to understand is that each tester- testee - researcher combination brings forth their combined consciousness (which would be different for each different tester-testee-researcher) to effect the testing which in and of itself shows how muscles testing works. .. In the case of personal muscle testing, the tester-testee-observer is one person, you. Therefore, you will have consistency and accuracy based on your level of consciousness.
Dr. David Hawkins, MD states that muscle testing is less accurate when the tester has a lower vibration or lower consciousness based in fear, doubt and insecurity.
In quantum physics it is well-known that the Tester/Researcher affects the test based on their point of view and what they expect to see or want to see. Therefore, muscle testing accurately tests the level of consciousness of each person testing. Isn’t it an interesting test of the Researcher’s consciousness in those studies you refer who are out to disprove muscle testing…?
Muscle testing is used by many Practitioners in determining mind-body interference in patients and those studies have been studied by unbiased scientific researchers and published in juried journals. Oh,to save you from asking, one such study is published in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics, Volume 28, Number 4, May 2005, ISSN 0161-4754 which shows a substantial improvement in medically non-responding patients from the accuracy of information gathered by muscle testing. That information was used to improve the function of each patient. This was scientifically measured in five different areas of function.
Again, I am offering a tool that empowers people to make new choices for themselves rather than asking the advice of another, after all who knows best than each person for themselves. The key is that people start to learn to tap into their non-egoic center often called soul consciousness vs. the fear-based consciousness that will give them less accurate results. So tune into future blogs which lead people to the next steps. First people have to know they have the power to perceive, know and receive information. Learning to be excellent at muscle testing is another lesson. Ultimately a person should be able to ask a question and instantly be aware of their truth and another’s truth (or point of view).
Many Blessings!
Christie
I've can vouch for the legitimacy of muscle testing. I've been used to muscle test others who couldn't muscle test themselves, where I would touch them and my muscle would be tested as the Dr. touched parts of their body, such as babies, animals and people too sick to hold their arm up. The success rate was uncanny. A dog who couldn't stand up on his hind legs, after locating the problem through muscle testing and adjusting it, began attempting to stand up right away and was fully on their back legs in a few hours. Same kind of results with a lame horse, a horse with a neck problem, etc. Even a bird. One woman had horrible migraines every other month. Muscle testing revealed she had an infected ovary. Every other month that ovary would release an egg and the infection would go into the body evidently causing the migraine. The woman was treated for her infected ovary and the migraines went away. There are just too many examples to give here, but the fact is the better the tester, the more accurate the results. I'll have my eyes closed while I'm being used to test someone else, and whenever the same problematic place is touched, my muscles will go weak. I will try to hold strong and it's no use. The body does know what it needs, we just need to know how to listen to it. Muscle testing reveals the body's self-awareness. I hope my experience can encourage others who might be questioning the validity of muscle testing by good testers.
Very nice presentation, though I wish that I had discovered this site months ago. It is greatly appreciated. My life is so ready to be elevated and thank you for the presentation. It has been difficult with negative energy situations and people. I will use your techniques to help in my situation.Thank you.
Hi Anna…
Thank you for your question! Thank you for taking the blog to heart and really desiring to use it!! By listening you are gathering a great deal of insight. I would start encouraging your daughter to look at things a different way.
I’ll give you a for instance. A 20- something was brought to my office the other day because he had stopped school after some things happened. He kept stating that he could not go back to school because he had failed. (His Story). But, he really desired to have the career that needed the schooling. I said, “So what that you quit?” He looked at me funny and then I said, ”Yes, so what. Start again. Start new. So, what?” Edison failed 99 times at making a light bulb and on the 100th he succeeded. Did he fail or did he succeed? It’s all just a made up story depending on what point of view you take.” I also shared a story about how a child learns to walk by practicing hundreds of times to walk and finally one day he/she walks. A baby doesn’t judge oneself on how long it takes or if it’s a success or failure….it just is what it is. A new skill can take some time to learn, so what? A person only fails if they label it that. Then I asked him, “Can you look at yourself as kindly as you look at a little baby taking their first steps and think…Wow, I went for it one more time…How cool am I?” He kind of laughed and I made him repeat it after me as a new mantra. Now, his Mom said on the way home that he is now, finally making plans to go back to school. Isn’t that exciting? It’s because we were willing to dismantle his point of view and give him another one that made him see what was possible. I also did some Belief work to clear the belief of “I fail” and what that means to him out of his being. This is why people come to me to change their reality. I have witnessed, with intent, lots of things can be fixed.
I also ask kids sometimes “Is that true?” and if it is true, then “How do you know this?” if a child disregards oneself (Such as, “ I can’t do this.”). I had a seven year old tell me that she thought she was not smart. I said, “Really, why do you think that?” She said, “My grades are not that great and I take a long time to finish homework.” These are conclusions and points of view that tell a story. I asked her, “So what are you really good at?” She told me “Dancing.” I asked her why she thought she was a good at dancing. She thought about it and then said, “I can do things that some of the other girls can’t do.” “Okay, so you must be smart then.” And we had a discussion about persistence and different kinds of smart. I taught her a few meditation techniques on visualizing herself as smart at tests and grades and getting A’s and getting all the help she needs in her life to come to her. Yes, she is only 7, but she felt happy to do all of this. I made it fun and she brightened up. She thought about it and went away. Later that day, she asked her Mom some more questions about what makes a person smart. Her Mom researched and found a specialized tutor and now she thinks she’s smart and she is getting better grades. It took a few times and with persistence though and a lot of caring in the communication, this little girl started shifting.
So, Anna, I would start by asking her why she feels, whatever she is saying is true and then gently nudge her to see that maybe she can see it another way. This adds some light to the situation and starts opening the energy like a flower blooming. Now, she may not see what is right about all of this right away, but with persistence and your caring, she will start to see something new.
Many Blessings!
Christie Marie
Hey Peter,
If it's a trick that works, I don't personally care. I have lots of mental tricks. I'm sure someone could discredit them as just mental tricks if they wanted to waste their time doing so. Look up the Reticular Activation System. If you want to prove something, your RAS will help you prove it, it's that simple.
As far as your nitpicking the semantics of the phrasing she used in her statement that people who love their families want the best for their families... seriously, maybe if you don't look so hard for something to be offended by, you won't find so many things.
On the topic at hand, which is doing our best to be good parents to our children and helping them learn to trust themselves to know and find their own happiness and their own way in life (as they will need to do once they are adults, in most people's lives)...
Thank you for the lovely post, Christie. It gave me tremendous food for thought, and I have already begun some work on changing my story. I have experienced a large shift in my house just from reading this post, and am grateful for it, thank you.
I enjoyed the post and I appreciate your take on parenting.
Oh, and by the way, for the "Bless your life," I have found that ho'oponopono is a fantastic way to bless my life even when things feel upsetting to me.
I use the super simple version of it:
I think to the person, or event, or whatever that I think is bringing me upset:
Thank you.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
After all, if we are all connected, then I have some part in the creation of the "problem," and drew that person to me in order to participate with me in the drama.
So, the ho'oponopono blessing helps me to remember that I play a part in every drama in my life-- and that is fact!
Hi Christie,
Good on you! It's so exciting to see more and more of us wake up to the fact that we are not just the products of creation but creation itself.
"Thoughts are 'things' with a reality of their own and you an artist. With thoughts in the forms of belief, attitude, value and expectation you paint the landscape of your life. Create a great day!" (From: We Create Our Own Reality - http://realtalkworld.com/we-create-our-own-reality/)
It is so liberating to know we have the power to reject negative ideas like "life is a matter of survival of the fittest, eat or be eaten, kill or be killed, we're basically bad and we can't trust ourselves" out of a false sense of loyalty to our parents, schools, churches and society. Responsibility (personal accountability and self-development) is the price of freedom, peace and happiness. As we think, we create. Change what we think and we change what we create.
If it's okay with you, I would like to promote your website on realtalkworld.com, a Think Tank for Change.
Roger "Pete" Peterson
Incredible content, thank you so much. By writing about the light, in such clear and eloquent terms, you provide people with both the understanding, as well as the tools, to initiate real change in their lives, if they choose it. So many others either "tell you what to do", or write about the esoteric without providing concrete tools for change. You are an incredibly gifted person. Thanks for writing this.
Hi Christie
Thanks for your lengthy reply to my questions. I will read the study you cited with interest to see whether its results cannot be explained as simple hypnotic suggestion.
"Dr. David Hawkins, MD states that muscle testing is less accurate when the tester has a lower vibration or lower consciousness based in fear, doubt and insecurity."
I know he states that. I read him stating it. But he just made that up. It sounds such a lot like pure fabrication used to cover up for the fact that his claims can't really be backed up. It is a classic obfuscation using circular reasoning. It is just like a snake-oil salesman saying 'well, of course it only works if you believe it works' or like a priest saying 'God only answers the prayers of those who have faith'.
If you hypnotise someone and then suggest to them they are being burnt, they will produce a blister in reality. If you hypnotise someone to believe they are a dog, then in their reality, they are a dog. That was my original point. Muscle testing is just a form of hypnotic suggestion. Those for whom it does not work are those who are not allowing themselves to be hypnotised. You may argue that this is because of fear or a lack of trust. Maybe. Maybe not. It could be for a number of reasons.
Now, I have no doubt at all that each individual's current beliefs do indeed create their current individual reality, but why dress it up to be more than it is?
"Greatness is not only about doing or accomplishing, greatness is about who we are, we are great."
I could not agree more. That is the point I was trying to make in the first place. So, given we agree about that we are all great already, why does anyone need to test or change anything?
Thanks for your views Sandi
I am not ever offended by other people's differing views, but I do enjoy debating them when they appear false. That is how we all move towards a more accurate understanding. If I do not fully understand a teacher's writing, is it not natural to ask him / her to elaborate further so that I can gain a more thorough understanding, rather than just accepting or discarding it at first glance?
What I am asking is that if it is a trick that works, why not just be honest and say it is a trick that works? Why all the elaborate decoration? Hypnotic suggestion is a trick that works. Its practitioners don't have to construct a mythology around it and therefore potentially deceive people.
Mind is a constant player of tricks that work. What use are some more colourful mind / body tricks, when one can simply step away from false identification with body and mind altogether?
I love this....thank you for posting topics on parents using muscle testing. I use this in my family and I also teach this to parents. I believe that if all parents used these tools, we could change the way parents raise their kids.