In 1991 my four-year old daughter had a bad moment at a preschool. It might not sound like much, just another child “telling on her,” but suddenly my previously independent daughter couldn’t leave my leg.
Sandra "Sandy" Blackard is a parent, author, instructor, life coach and founder of Language of Listening®. With over a decade of parenting and child rearing experience, she has a unique ability to help adults see the world the way children see it and make sense of what they think and do.
She is the author of SAY WHAT YOU SEE®, co-author of Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT) Treatment Manual, and Founding Director of the Center for Play Therapy. Sandy and her husband Patrick have two insightful daughters.
I remember watching her try to step through the door of her beloved kids’ science class and freeze up, completely unable to step inside without bursting into tears. I was at a loss…and to make things worse, Kindergarten was just around the corner.
What I learned about listening from a play therapist, combined with some personal breakthrough training I had taken shortly before resulted in a huge “Aha!” moment for me and eventually, the world of parenting: There’s only one thing you need to remember to transform any challenging moment with a child into a rewarding one: SAY WHAT YOU SEE®.
Say What You See
Through 8 years of relentlessly sharing with other parents what I had learned that allowed my 5-year old to go skipping off to Kindergarten without looking back; her three–year old sister to brush her teeth without the crossed arms and a pouty, “No!” of defiance; and countless other children to move through challenging moments in their lives, I started hearing myself say, “You just say what you see!”
Still, I thought I was just talking about listening, not the full range of parenting.
But in 2005, I woke up one morning with the sudden realization, “It’s all one thing!”
I'm sure you've heard of Anthony Robbins - a huge man (with a very sexy voice!), who is also a world-renowned motivational speaker and author. I met Tony and his wife Sage in Fiji in May and they have so much knowledge and compassion for the human condition that it blows me away. I have been wanting to write a post for awhile now on his teachings and how they can be applied to parenting - so here it is!
A picture paints a thousand words...
