A couple of weeks back, I wrote about how praising your kids could cause drastic negative impacts on your children's emotional needs as well as the terrible consequences that could come with it.

Many of you then wrote in asking me for advise on how to praise your kids the right way, in a way that will build their self-confidence and leave a positive impact. Well, I think that this video will help you tremendously.

I also found an article by Heather Hatfield that gives us 6 valuable tips on the right way to praise your kids:

Be specific.

Instead of saying, "You're such a good baseball player," say, "You hit the ball really hard and you are an excellent first baseman." Being specific is much better and helps kids to identify with their special skill.

Be genuine.

Praise should always be genuine. Kids have a way of knowing when your praise is insincere, and then you lose trust. Worse yet, they become insecure because they no longer believe your positive words, and they find difficulty in telling the difference between when you really mean it and when you don't.

Encourage new activities.

"Praise kids for trying new things, like learning to bike ride or tie their shoelaces, and for not being afraid to make mistakes."

Don't praise the obvious.

Try not to overdo praise about a child's attributes: 'You're so smart, handsome, pretty, bright, talented, gifted. Parents and grandparents are of course going to indulge in some of this, and that is OK, but if our kids hear a constant litany of praise it will begin to sound empty to them and have little meaning.

Say it when you mean it.

Saying "Good job," when you mean it, or "Boy, you really worked hard on that paper," tells children that, as parents, you recognize the value of their hard work and efforts,  and that you know the difference between when they work hard at something, and when it comes easy.

Focus on the process.

Praise children for their effort and hard work, not for their inherent talents. Remember, it's the process, not the product that matters. Not all our kids will be fantastic athletes or brilliant students or accomplished musicians.  But children who learn to work hard and persevere have their own special talent.

Don't forget to recognize the intention.

Things don't always turn out the way we want them to, and it's the same with kids.  So if we can work to recognize the positive intention behind children's actions and let them know we see and appreciate that intention, our kids will definitely take notice.

I hope this helps. Do leave your comments and let me know if I am on the right track!

Thanks

M